Tuesday, November 01, 2005

An Opinion on Everything

On Libby’s Indictment: Meet Scooter, the new administration scapegoat. The thing about obstruction of justice and making false statements is that it is a crime that can protect other criminals from being prosecuted (i.e. Cheney). Scooter had a choice to admit to outing a CIA agent and take others with him, or to lie and cover the asses of his bosses. He clearly chose door #2.

On TurdBlossom: Hopefully Fitzgerald stays persistent in his investigation of “Official A.” “A,” of course, is short for “evildoer Karl Rove.”

On Harriet Miers: Congratulations, crazy evangelicals. You still have control of the President. Or was it the moderate conservatives and democrats who forced her out with criticisms of inexperience? There was one person in the country who firmly backed Harriet Miers (the President, of course), while every other faction opposed her nomination. So her withdrawal proves once and for all that the President is less powerful than all the other people in Washington put together. Which is reassuring.

On Justice Alito: From what I hear, I do not like him. Fortunately, in Alito-World, when I become pregnant and cannot have an abortion without my husband’s consent, there will be an abundance of machine guns available for me to use to make, er, persuasive arguments to my husband or clinic physician. I am hearing the words “filibuster” and “nuclear” already.

On Bird Flu: Bird Flu is something for the President and CDC officials to worry about. It is not something over which Soledad O’Brien should conjecture while I am trying to enjoy my morning coffee. Since the virus can only jump to humans from birds, I should not be worried about it given that I do not share lip gloss with chickens. And the media should respect my right to not be forced into a panic attack before breakfast.

On Rosa Parks: The best way to honor her life is to pursue her ideals, namely civil rights for all. It is hypocrisy to give speeches about her importance and then go back to work passing legislation that undermines civil equality.

On Cronyism: It occurred to me that Dubya is so keen on handing jobs to unqualified cronies because that is how he got all of his jobs! Without cronyism, George Bush would be the second-assistant marketing coordinator for Boring Old Enterprises, Inc. and would be chopping wood to heat his house, not to infuse his base of Nascar dads. You gotta dance with the one that brung ya, and cronyism is Bush’s best gal. So why not perpetuate the upper-class welfare that was so kind to Dubya in the past?

1 Comments:

Blogger torporific said...

"re will be an abundance of machine guns available for me to use to make, er, persuasive arguments to my husband or clinic physician."

Hilarious.

10:32 AM  

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