The War on Negative Connotation

President Bush addressed the NSA today and insisted that his domestic spying program should be called a “terrorist surveillance program” rather than “domestic spying without a warrant.”

Because “terrorist surveillance program” sounds so much nicer and reminds us, as we question the breech in our civil liberties, that we are constantly in danger of being attacked and that civil liberties don't matter when you're dead.

In a related story, President Bush has asked that the Democratic Party be renamed the “Axis of Dissent” and that “Washington Corruption” be henceforth referred to as “Functional Government.” Here is text from his next speech:

“While I am trying to protect you with my terrorist surveillance program, the Axis of Dissent is hard at work trying to disrupt the business of a functional government”…

“September 11th” … “September 11th” … “September 11th” … “Terrorism” … “Thank you.”